I subscribe to a magazine geared to women over 40. And while the pages are still filled with very attractive women attempting to convince readers to
lose weight, get fit, get a new wardrobe, have a makeover and buy all new makeup, it is also a magazine filled with feminist anger and resentment.
The cover this month has a teaser that reads, "
20 more years with...him?" Love, sex, money and renegotiating the marriage. Renegotiating the marriage? Sounds like man-bashing to me.
It's a sad thing to see a middle-aged male completely emasculated by his overbearing wife, daughters, sisters, and female coworkers. Today's baby-boomer men and GenX men have been severly stripped of their manliness by women thanks to the feminist movement. Walking, talking wimps.
This past weekend I observed such a couple shopping... a husband and wife nearing age 60. He asked her if he could look at something and she snapped at him, "Not today. I don't feel like looking at those. Another day." He skulked off like a chastised child. She had a superior smirk on her face as if she'd just won another battle. I was so embarassed for him.
No cojones.
Yet, some of these same middle-aged men have gathered up the courage and left their angry, resentful and unhappy wives. Many remarry (sometimes younger), happy women who love them
because they are men.
Found cojones.
The magazine I referred to above, for women over age 40 -
More magazine - has a couple of articles this month about long-term marriages and how dissatisfied most women are in them.
Most of us in long-term marriages have, at one time or another, worried that the changes we were making in ourselves were going to rock to boat right out of the water. "My huisband married a very different woman from the one I am now," we say. What we really mean is, "If I'm becoming a different woman, what am I doing married to the same man?"This quote is from an article titled
Rewriting the Terms of Endearment,
creative ways to get the intimacy, adventure and self-expression you are craving.
Much of the article was how women are refusing to settle for that "creaky, cranky old institution" known as marriage and defining the terms under which they will stay married. Some women took trips with other women friends to find themselves, others left the marriage, and some just continued to bitch at the husband with no expectations for improvement.
Sounds like emasculation, explained...
as long as you continue to provide me the lifestyle in which I have become accustomed, make no demands for sex or cooking, let me have all of the girls nights out
that I want, and sit when you use the toilet, we'll be fine.
Several women interviewed claim that
marriage is in a state of chaos. Women can't get every need met by one individual. Huh? Says who? And what kind of idiot tries to get every need met by someone else?
When women started hearing in the 1960's and 70's from other women that those old-fashioned ideas about being a good wife and mother was not necessary to be a women, all bets were off. Everywhere women turned they were told
make your demands,
free yourself of male oppression, become a slut and experience sexual freedom (and a host of STD's). Women my mother's age (68) demanded to get out of the house and get a job. They no longer cared as much about maintaining a lovely home for their family as they did being free of it. Children became latch-key kids and spent afternoons watching cartoons on black and white television sets. Daycares sprouted up. More women went to college for
careers - not just for the old
Mrs. degree. Men had jobs, but women had
careers.
These same women taught their daughters to demand the same freedom. They also began to emasculate their sons, terrorizing them into submission and fear. And today these children of the 60's and 70's feminists are married and having children. Today's husbands are afraid to say anything derisive to their feminist wives lest they insult them. Husbands are required to divide up household chores, share equally in kid duties and give wives nights off to go out with the girls. I know a couple - he's a lawyer, she's a doctor. They have two school-aged children. Yet he, the guy who only makes his living on an how many hours he bills, takes kids to school, picks them up from daycare, cooks, cleans dishes, takes them to sports... The wife is beyond spoiled; she's a rather distasteful human being, treats her husband like a servant. I guess she figures that she
HAD to have the babies (how horrible), so he can take care of them. Whatever.
Feminists really have it all wrong. Besides creating so much stress for themselves and their families, they often end up alone. And how silly. Men are really easy and have only a few simple needs. So what's the big deal?
Cooking: If he likes dinner at home, fix him dinner at home. I love to cook so it's not a problem for me anyway. My husband and I talk about the day while I cook, we watch the news and get caught up. It's a nice time for us. He always offers to help. And we really like to sit down for dinner together with our family. If you don't like to cook, buy prepared foods, make stuff ahead and/or get the family involved in meal preparation. What else are they going to eat? Peanut butter sandwiches.. again? It's a natural time to get reconnected again with your family.
Respect: Men need our respect. If you don't respect the guy, why did you marry him? Or what changed in the meantime? Showing your husband respect isn't so tough when you're not a self-absorbed feminist. Showing your husband respect makes him feel worthy of such a wonderful wife.
Sex: Men need sex. Men like sex. Most women need sex and
some even like sex. What's the big deal? If you truly love your husband, you'll keep him really happy
and at home with intimacy. Middle-aged women who are in the throws of menopause or peri-menopause have horomonal issues with estrogen levels dropping, but to shun your husband of many years is not very nice and often leads to divorce. Unless he adjusted many years ago to being cut off from maritial sex, plan on many more years of intimacy.
You may even like it. Duh.
Household chores: I've never understood women who take no pride in their homes, whether it's a big house or a tiny apartment. Women by nature are nesters. And if you have kids, they can and should help. Husbands even help when they care about the home too. It's not rocket science. And if you work it's even more important to get help from the family. How can being a feminist justify a filthy house?
Communication: Women are communicators. It is up to us to initiate the communication. Don't whine that he never talks about feelings. Get him to talk by communicating
with him. You may actually learn something about him if you ask questions and
listen.
So what's tough about men? Food, sex, respect, nice home and communication.
In the article the author writes, "
Like 1950's housewives, our men have become diminished and unfulfilled. We are the heads of our households..." Middle aged women whining that their men didn't become CEO of something, and complaining that their husbands haven't kept pace with their ambition.
No wonder they end up alone. They emasculated their men many years ago, made clear to these men that unless they were equals, there would be hell to pay. And when these men gave up trying to compete with their masculine wives, many men became the family nurturer, caregiver and are still searching for their cojones. One day they wake up and leave.
Feminists alone, and lonely. They've chased every man away, become embittered and even bigger man-haters. At the end of the article. the author writes, "
But our joy in our own fulfillment is always tempered by that nagging fear that it has come at the expense of our husbands', and our impatience with the life choices they've made." Or the choices the men were forced into.
As middle aged women alone they wonder if they'd
been less controlling would their husbands' lives had been richer. Did they hold their husbands back by insisting on being the center of the universe and self-absorbed feminists?
The answer is yes, yes and yes. No one so self-absorbed will have well-developed relationships, much less with a husband.
Femininst were so determined to discover who they were as women and dominate everyone along the way, they forgot what it was to be women and how to have relationships with men. And now they are lonely feminists, either trapped in empty long-term relationships or are alone. Do you wonder why?